Friday funny

[laidback]

I thought a tribute to all those great Jewish comedians from the past was due. Shecky Green, Red Buttons, Buddy Hackett & Milton Berle just to name a few. Here are some of their one liners.


* I just got back from a pleasure trip. I took my mother-in-law to the airport.

* I've been in love with the same woman for 49 years! If my wife ever finds out, she'll kill me!

* What are three words a woman never wants to hear when she's making love? "Honey, I'm home!"

* Someone stole all my credit cards but I won't bereporting it. The thief spends less than my wife did.

* We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

* My wife and I went back to the
hotel where we spent our wedding night;
Only this time I stayed in the bathroom and cried.

My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife called it the Dead Sea .

She was at the beauty shop for two hours.
That was only for the estimate.
She got a mudpack and looked great for two days.
Then the mud fell off.

* The Doctor gave a man six months to live.
The man couldn't pay his bill so the doctor gave him another six months.

* The Doctor called Mrs. Cohen saying,
"Mrs. Cohen, your check came back. "
Mrs. Cohen answered, "So did my arthritis!"

* Doctor: "You'll live to be 60!" Patient: "I am 60!"
Doctor: "See! What did I tell you?"

* Patient: "I have a ringing in my ears."
Doctor: "Don't answer!"

* A drunk was in front of a judge.
The judge says, "You've been brought here for drinking."
The drunk says "Okay, let's get started."

[SCrubjay]

nothing Milton Berle did is funnier than this story!

http://flaglerlive.com/146/091128qt-milton-berle-big-dick/

[SCrubjay]